a blog with cultural bulimia.

Thursday, October 09, 2003


Best Place to Watch NY: Grand Central

via The Village Voice

best guy with a huge cock: JONAH FALCON
Tucked away in a pair of jeans in Brooklyn is one of the biggest dicks in the country. Bulging out of 33-year-old out-of-work actor-turned-writer JONAH FALCON, the 13-and-a-half-inch penis has turned the heads of NY mags all year. Rolling Stone featured the well-hung Yankee fan in an out-of-place double-page feature depicting the overweight Falcon in his bathroom. While his mother says he's always been big for his age, she denies that Falcon's father was porn star John Holmes, a rumor Falcon has circulated through the press all year.

best bus line on which to watch bootleg movies: LUCKY STAR BUS LINE
It will only cost you 10 bucks to get from NYC to Boston, but you may lose your shit watching the Canal Street bootleg tapes on the Chinatown LUCKY STAR BUS LINE. The picture is terrible and the flicks randomly fast-forward or fade completely out. There was nudity in the last one I saw, though.
69 Chrystie Street, Manhattan 888-881-0887

best bar to see naked girls swimming in an aquarium: CORAL ROOM

best store to buy authentic sari fabric: INTERNATIONAL SARI PALACE

best new west village hangout: WESTVILLE
The moment it opened alongside the M8 bus stop, WESTVILLE was mobbed with a cross-section of the Village, grooving on low-end stuff like burgers and hot dogs in multiple permutations, and more luxurious but still moderately priced crab cakes, steak, and grilled fish.
210 West 10th Street, Manhattan 212-741-7971

best place to watch the japanese staff practice piano lessons: CAKE-O
Both aesthetic and utilitarian, the piano is used by employees who often emerge from behind the counter to practice Chopin after fulfilling your order. It is a voyeuristic combination of extreme employee multitasking and an open stage.
234 Mulberry Street, Manhattan 212-925-4445

best gay pickup joint: BED, BATH, & BOYFRIENDS (ER, BEYOND)

best place to feel sweaty back stubble: THE ROXY
The beats come on and the shirts come off.

best race-baiting dipshits: BLACK ISRAELITES
There's lotsa Bible-thumping douche bags in this country, but the BLACK ISRAELITES are probably the most obnoxious. You can occasionally find a pair of them, black dudes in trad Middle Eastern garb, on the corner of 14th Street and Union Square West, interpreting quotes from the Good Book as anti-race-mixing imperatives. They're such cowards they'll excoriate black women walking by with white men.