a blog with cultural bulimia.

Tuesday, November 11, 2003

missing my mother

I lost my mother in november of a forgotten year.
Actually, i didn't loose her but was immediatelly lost without her.
The longings. Sudden conscious longings...

As usual someone else's words brought back convoluted memories...

"Mothers are like that. They leave suddenly, only to reappear in dreams and thoughts, in sudden conscious longings, in the long forgotten advice about car maintenance, in the shape of a hairdo, or the smell of forgotten soups.
Mothers try like that, not to be remebered, but to give and do: somehow their task is never finished, and their presence is always something to talk about.
Even in memories or dreams, mothers seem to be unwilling to let things be, or to leave a scrapped knee unatended: there is always a practical advice, their gaze yet attentive and watchful.
Mine has not appeared in dreams for a long time, couple of months at most. It is true that I haven't been sleeping, though.
Mothers in dreams, revisiting the world of unfinished projects, of tales that never got told, of stories that need to be shared."

via Mercurial