Bitter? Me? Pass the lime and salt, darling.

The crass and obvious fakery of the Valentine holiday is powerful enough to get even me down. It's not simply the fact of being alone, though I am not technically alone - in London, you really never are - I have friends aplenty and work galore. No, it's more the smug mutual pampering couples get to experience. (...)

So in honour of the anniversary of the beheading of a christian saint, and our habit of commemorating the event by exchanging overpriced tat , I link these finely crafted greetings in time for the blessed season of togetherness. Print out - cut round - paste on pink card - et voila! A most heartfelt Valentine.

Crushed yet again
I DO love you
I think about you
...so right.
I think you're cute
(sniff)
Dirty talk with Karl
To find true love
Willing to trade
I would program your heartbeat

Bitter? Me? Pass the lime and salt, darling
via Belle de Jour