the future is so bright, i gotta wear shades.

There's a special hell reserved for people who do something stupid. Your mind traces and retraces the moment you did what you can never take back, no matter how much you will it. If only you could reverse history by replaying the scene in your mind, over and over again. Each time you give the story a different ending, and each time you realize the ending will never change. How many times did Bill Clinton think how it might have been: No, Monica, absolutely not. I'm a married man, I'm twice your age, and I'm the president of the United States. How many people before me, how many after, have rued a carelessly whispered word, an indiscreet letter, a confession in a moment of passion or tenderness?
Selena Keller in Loose Lips

This is how I have been living my life in the last few months. Stuck in my own personal hell, a merry-go-round of self-flagellation.

When does the 'reflecting' ends and 'moving on' begin???

Right now! I hope.