a blog with cultural bulimia.

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

"Michael Jackson endorses Cardinal Bernard Law for new Pope."

"Embattled pop star Michael Jackson told a Los Angeles Times reporter at Johnnie Cochran’s funeral this week that he (Jackson) strongly supports the papal candidacy of Bernard Law, who was forced to resign in disgrace as archbishop of Boston two years ago because he had protected sexually abusive priests.

"Archbishop Law is a man of great sensitivity and learning,” said Jackson. “I came to know him well when he attended several sleepovers at Neverland ranch. He was kind enough to hear confessions for the catholic boys and their parents who were my guests.”

Macaulay Culkin, whom Jackson is alleged to have kissed and fondled on some of those occasions, was equally enthusiastic about Law.

“I remember sitting on his lap the year he played Santa Claus,” said Culkin. “He kept tickling my cheeks with his fake beard and whispering in my ear. I think he’d make a fun pope."

From Postcards from the Pug Bus.